About 20 years ago , I was working at Bell Labs on a new technology known as fiber to the home. The child of this technology is now known as Verizon Fios service. The business rationale at the time was simple. The telephone market had grown from one line per house, to two lines per house with the penetration of fax machines and dial-up Internet. The question was how to get more growth. The idea was to have the whole country dig up their copper wires and replace them with fiber optics.
It was not a bad idea, just 20 years ahead of its time. I remember that we estimated that it would take about 100,000 loads from cement trucks to fill in the roads that would get dug up just in California.
It was my department’s responsibility to create the “pitch” package that our Business Unit President would use with the executives of Pacific Bell. We finished the package the day before the meetings and briefed the execs.
When it was time for them to leave, my boss stopped by my office and asked me to join her on the jet to re-brief all the execs on the “finer” points. The Jet was scheduled to leave in 20 minutes.
My initial annoyance at the last minute request was countered by the “ubber- cool” factor of flying on the corporate jet. I called home and said . “Dear, I won’t be home for dinner, I’m talking the Gulf Stream to San Jose.”
Does it get any better than that?
I took my laptop (a 1980’s vintage 286 Compaq) and headed to the Morristown airport. The other passengers on the plane were three other Business Unit Presidents and a couple of Corporate biggies from the AT&T side of the business. This was the “A list” entourage and I was included. I thought I would have the opportunity to give them my views on company strategy, acquisitions, maybe even be promoted by the time we landed.
The possibilities seemed endless!
We took off and about an hour later. Sixty minutes into the flight the glamour ended and the work began as I started my re-brief of the sales presentation material. They had the inevitable changes and tweaks they wanted to almost every slide. I was to make the changes in-flight and then work with a secretary in California for production into the bound binders for tomorrow’s big meeting.
If anyone reading this remembers what laptops were like in the 1980‘s, you know that they were big,
heavy and had a battery life measured in minutes, not hours. The changes that the exec’s requested would take hours, not minutes.
In this era, Gulf Stream corporate jets were not equipped with many business amenities, most importantly electrical outlets for my laptop charger.
There was only on suitable outlet on the plane.
Wanna guess where it was?
The toilet!
The laptop charger had to be plugged into the shaver outlet. Even with it plugged in, the battery would run out in 45 minutes. Once the battery died, I would leave it plugged in for an hour and then get another 15 minutes of use on my computer. This cycle continued for about 4 hours.
My first experience on a corporate jet and I spend most of the time in a small smelly lav!
After I finished, I rejoined the “team”. They had managed to polish off the shrimp and crab legs, and had made a sizable dent in the beverage bar. They briefly looked through the changes , grunted approval and went back to their eating and drinking. I was offered from pretzels.
It was clear I was now a “third wheel” in this party.
I was clearly not part of this club, but just the lackey with the PC. It was humbling to feel as though your status was significant, until you hang out with the Gods. I realized I would not have to make that call to order my new Porsche when we landed.
So, I decided to sit up front in the jump seat of the cockpit and talk to the pilots for awhile.
When I tried to joke with the pilot that the shrimp and crab was all gone, they asked if we should put down in Denver and get some more? I thought they were joking, but they were not! They said it would not have been the first time they had stopped en route to refuel the passengers with food.
When we finally landed we were met by two stretch limos and one 1975 Ford Pinto.
The execs were not taking the Pinto.
Ford Pinto slightly better than this!
The secretary who would work with me on the presentation production drove the Pinto. We drove to a local AT&T office, for what we hoped would be a couple of minutes.
Naturally, the print drivers on my laptop did not work with any of the printers that were in the office. All of the office computers were securely locked. I finally found a printer that did work, but it had a less than blazing print speed of about 1 page every 5 minutes. The forty page presentation was going to take the rest of the night to print.
Everything was finally finished around 5:00 am (California time). I went to the hotel where the exec’s were slumbering. My instructions had been to slip the binders under the door of my President’s room.
However, the hotel doors had metal plates that prevented anything bigger than a single piece of paper to fit under the door.
Having been up for over 24 hours, spending 5 hours sitting on a airplane toilet, battling the printers and copiers, I looked and felt my best at this point.
I knocked on the door and it was opened right away. He was in his tailored Brooks Brother suit, shaved, and not a hair out of place. The only thing that was missing was a photographer from GQ magazine.
He looked at me and said “you look awful, were you up all night?” Many quick replies came to my mind at that point, fortunately my judgment was not impaired.
I asked he if he had slept? He said , “of course, fully rested and ready to go!”
“And you?”
I told him the whole story. He then informed me that the rest of the exec entourage where going to fly to San Diego to play golf.
He said thanks and closed the door. I sighed
The secretary drove me back to the airport.
I flew back on a commercial flight. Middle Seat. Smoking Section.
I hate cigarette smoke.
They told me later that the meetings were a fabulous success.
The technology was promptly deployed 20 years later.
P.S. I told everyone back at work how great is was to ride on the corporate jet.
They were all jealous.
1 Comment
February 19, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Sounds like a story right our of one of Grisham’s novels. You really have had some unique experiences. Keep writing, I’ll keep reading